Jerome and Yolanda

Jerome and Yolanda Holmes were run over on a church bike ride while they were attending "The Harvest" church in Slidell, La. This qualifies the BOTH for a Squished Tomato. What makes this even stranger is that they were run over by a car AFTER being clipped by another bike. It seems that the "pastor" of this fine protestant church rear ended him, knocking his rear wheel out from under him. After Jerome and Yolanda were thrown to the pavement in a 70mph low-side onto the grooved concrete pavement on I-12 in Batron Rouge, in heavy traffic. They slid along the concrete nicely as Yolanda's el-cheapo PVC jacket alternated between melting and granulating then embedding itself into her left arm and breast. Jerome was well padded but even his thin Jacket was soon eaten through and he looked as though he had been given a botched copy of my shoulder to shoulder wings by a drunk prision tattoo artist. Just about the time it seemed things were going to be somewhat less than hellish, the minister unlocked his rear brake and stopped decelrating. Since Jerome's bike had ceased moving, this had the same effect as if he had slammed open the gas and he quickly closed the 100ft gap that had widened between the bikes and launched his bike off of Jerome's Volusia like Robbie Kenievel angry and on crack. He landed squarely on Yolanda's shouler with his rear wheel, breaking her arm in a multiple places. The pavement ran with their blood. The minister and his wife were then thrown from their bucking steed by his continued innability to accomplish basic motorcycle handling. Jerome and Yolanda are both former US Marshalls, who since Katrina have opened a coffe shop in New Orleans called the Urban Cup Cafe. You can visit them there for a great cup of coffee, or some of the best Mango Gespacho on the planet. They now attend a Catholic Church in New Orleans whose pastor dosen't pretend he can ride.